I've entered and am exiting a rather confusing time. The next phase of my life is beginning and I thought that someone else was supposed to come along. God gave us free will so that we can grow. Although I know and recognize the past and the future we are supposed to create, it's oaky that the other party doesn't. That is joy of free will. Each, in our own time, in our own way.
I understand the point of the circumstance, soul recognition goes beyond our eyes and normal social standings. The point is to challenge us to something new, so that our souls grow. Growth has no boundaries, no norms, no comforts, just truths. If you don't learn this life, you have plenty of other chances. The hardest part of living an earthly life for some is letting go of material, earthly ways of validation. You can't take your riches and sense of security with you when you leave your present life. It all get's left behind, including the things you did to achieve such wealth. Where you kind? Where you generous? Where you hoarding what you have to prove your worth?
All those things come into play. When you believe you will have enough, truly believe in your heart of hearts, you will. When you hang your souls worth on it all, you become a slave to earthly recognition. You can create a legacy for your children by working through their hearts, and teaching them, kindness, unconditional love, and the Universal Laws . It's ok to attain wealth and substance, as long as your recognize it for what it is. Once you hang your soul's validity on such things it violates the purpose of this life. We never live just to obtain stuff, we live to obtain knowledge. Food for the ever wanting and expanding soul.
You are always perfect and deserve the best, but don't get caught up so much that you can only relate through earthly things. Be in the world, not of the world. You will meet souls along the way and you have a choice to nurture those relationships or nurture you false sense of self. If you are living a good and giving life, those earthly things will come. They will come, because you are grateful for everything in your life, even the difficult things teaching you something new. Keep your mind straight and your heart loving.
I dislocated my elbow, so I won't be typing much for a while. Ta Ta for now.
When I get cranky and emotional as I am today and my dogs are refusing to come in my work area, it's clear sign I need to clean my house. I typically sage my house once a week. This week I have been dealing with quite a few people who have had some negative energy. So I'm whipping out the heavy hitter, "Three Kings" resin. This is a mix of Frankincense, Myrrh, and Sandalwood.
My neighbors all think I'm smoking pot when I burn sage and I'm into witchcraft when I burn resin. It's funny how everything has to have a label. Frankincense is used in the Catholic Church during mass. How is the witchy? I think everyone should cleanse their house, especially in times of high stress. You would be amazed at the things you bring home with you.
In the words of my very good friend, I got "white girl" wasted. My friend is white. If you have never heard of this term, Amy Schumer does a great skit of it's definition on Comedy Central. It's basically when you get super emotional about everything while drinking.
Thank god my phone died. I almost gave up the last of my dignity, my thumbs vomited loving accolades to a man who doesn't even gave a shit about me. Then I wised up an almost slept with my ex, as if that was a good revenge move. Thank god I realized I would never get rid of his ass if I did that. Like that would make anything better, so glad I dodged that bullet.
I'm rather ashamed of myself. Not for the rambling or the crying. God knows I've been holding the crying in. Not for the crazy ass texts that I sent. My diet has been spot on lately minus last Saturday, Wednesday and last night. I was doing a fine job moving forward with my physical goals. I just don't like using alcohol as buffer. It's a slippery slope that is unnecessary.
If it wasn't for the fact I've been grieving the loss of so many people I love, I wouldn't be so hard on myself. Grieving is the wrong time to indulge in booze. Actually, I woke up this morning and laughed at the immaturity of my actions. When it's a duck you call it a duck. I've been extremely hurt and feeling like I have a hole in my heart. I know that there is a plan for me, but why does it have to be so painful?
I always wonder, is there anyone that feels my pain like I feel their's?
Most people who know me, know I keep my circle tight. I'm not the kind of person that has 500 people on my Facebook page. Hell, I was surprised when I hit triple digits. I love to socialize and I know a decent amount of people, but not that many really know me. So having my best friend move to Florida is really messing me up. That will 4 of my close friends who bailed off to Florida. Don't they know how shitty the schools are compared to here.
Crappy schools or not I'm devastated. My support system here is small and I might be losing another close one soon to that stupid state. Praying for it not to happen. Actually I'm not, I would never pray for something that would prevent someone else's happiness. I'm just having and adult tantrum right now. Yeah, I have them from time to time. At least I'm honest.
Figured I'd get it out before the crew gets here. We are going party like when were 25! Yup, been my Sista for 12 years! If I write when I've been drinking some really random things fly out my head. I might even go into some irrelevant rant about another pooh butt who has made me really sad. She better treat him well. No matter how much it hurts, I hope that all those I love are happy. Even the ones who break my heart.
This morning I received an email from a friend in India who's father just passed. I know this is the beginning of a new journey for her father. But its also a sad and inevitable ending for her and the family. My blog isn't super popular -- yet. If you see this, please say a little prayer of strength and comfort for a stranger. Most would be surprised at how many strangers pray for them without knowledge.
Rupal - I love you, sending strength and comfort.
I had a client ask me about dream walking, a technique that allows you to intend your way into another individuals dream's. Dream walking is an advanced technique based on Lucid Dreaming. Lucid dreaming is when you are sleeping, but you're conscious. I've never really had to practice a particular technique to achieve this state, it just happens if I intent it. Back at the beginning of my marriage I would dream walk when my ex was overseas. It didn't happen often, because he ended up in long periods of sleep deprivation.
The biggest issue with most people is dream recall. That has never been an issue for me, my dream recall is phenomenal. The key is not to jump up the second you wake up. I replay my dream, but the best thing is to write or voice record it. Last night, I had a lucid dream that reminded me of the effect the conscious and subconscious can have when working in sync. For those who don't understand that statement, let me say it differently. When lucid dreaming your pain and pleasure sensors are intact. For example, I was grabbed by my forearm and lifted into the air. On the releasing of the grip, while I was shouting "NOW!!!" I woke up. When I woke up, I was shouting 'now' in real life and could feel the pain searing through my forearm.
What happened? I was asleep but my conscious was not. As I navigated this particular dream, my physical sensory never turned off. My subconscious whips up the landscape an theme, this time it was expelling demons, my conscious made my body feel the physicality's of the dream. The best thing about lucid dreaming is being able to control the dream. There was no fear when this beast picked me up, it enabled me to look it in the face and demand it be gone. Kinda my theme now days. Cutting the through the crap.
I also blame this dream on too much garlic. I've been refining my foods, so there is less processed sugars and starches and lots of the healthy fats. I made an awesome veggie stir-fry, but I went crazy with the garlic. The demons in my dream were all the things of the past I've been clearing, taking back control over my life. So as painful as the grip felt, the liberation from actively taking part, not being a passive observer, felt even better.
Most people think you can't control your dreams, but you can, set an intention. Everything in this world is based on your mind. Intention is the key. Try it and let me know how it works for you.
