In the words of my very good friend, I got "white girl" wasted. My friend is white. If you have never heard of this term, Amy Schumer does a great skit of it's definition on Comedy Central. It's basically when you get super emotional about everything while drinking.
Thank god my phone died. I almost gave up the last of my dignity, my thumbs vomited loving accolades to a man who doesn't even gave a shit about me. Then I wised up an almost slept with my ex, as if that was a good revenge move. Thank god I realized I would never get rid of his ass if I did that. Like that would make anything better, so glad I dodged that bullet.
I'm rather ashamed of myself. Not for the rambling or the crying. God knows I've been holding the crying in. Not for the crazy ass texts that I sent. My diet has been spot on lately minus last Saturday, Wednesday and last night. I was doing a fine job moving forward with my physical goals. I just don't like using alcohol as buffer. It's a slippery slope that is unnecessary.
If it wasn't for the fact I've been grieving the loss of so many people I love, I wouldn't be so hard on myself. Grieving is the wrong time to indulge in booze. Actually, I woke up this morning and laughed at the immaturity of my actions. When it's a duck you call it a duck. I've been extremely hurt and feeling like I have a hole in my heart. I know that there is a plan for me, but why does it have to be so painful?
I always wonder, is there anyone that feels my pain like I feel their's?
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