One of the hardest things for me as a tarot reader is just giving the information and letting go of the end result. Some readers learn how to read the cards by memorizing. I use the cards because it's what's expected. Most of the information I get is not directly from the cards by what I'm told or shown. When what I hear or see is unclear, the cards can help decipher the messages.
I've always said that I would never tell anyone about death, the only one who knows when our time is up, is the one who created all. This was a specific boundary for me. I don't believe in telling the future. I believe in telling you all the energies that are present in your life, some you can change and others you can not. Either way, the client has free will to choose how they want to deal with the situations.
Well my boundaries have been flexed overtime since my ex is out my life. Last weekend I was called to do a reading that seemed like normal. But when I got to the reading I had a message for someone else at the location. It was the first time I had seen, without a shadow of a doubt, death if a change was not made. The person who it was for had a deep addiction that was physically manifesting and causing the individual to switch to an even worse addiction. To compile the problem this person was a sensitive.
Lot's of people with the gift to feel others, see what most would call crazy, have addiction problems. It's a way to try and cope with the wave of constant incoming energy and information. It over loads your emotions and senses. So they drink or use drugs as a way to escape the excess stimulation. The flip side of such coping is you draw negative energy toward you because your vibration is so low. This is where the term "low life" came from. I'm not one to get all new-age-y and talk about vibrations, but the truth is everything is matter, vibrating at a certain rate. Matter is never created or destroyed, it's just transformed from one state to another.
I didn't tell this individual that they would die, although that was the message, but I did stress the importance of making changes now. It was the warning that the threshold has not been crossed, and now was the time to act. I spoke in terms of chemical responses to the brain and healing that had to take place for the brain chemistry to go back to normal. I spoke of how it wasn't just a physical response. The relief they were looking for came from a spiritual place. I gave them tools, explaining psychic protection; I told them I would help cleanse the energies continuing to attach themselves and even hold their hand through detox. You don't charge people in that dire of straights. How can you call yourself a healer? Others may disagree, but in a situation like that, I was called by one and obviously meant for another.
So it's a week later, I haven't heard from this person and I haven't received any interference. Meaning, I get poked with messages and dreams if I ignore what I'm being told. This was squarely on the individual. It's hard to just detach myself from such a sad situation, they're a single parent. But I brought my message, I offered what I could and now I just have to be ok with it.
Now ,enter another situation. This has been the most frustrating, emotionally charged, complicated, relationship I have ever dealt with. It started in a odd way. I thought it ended in an odd way. Yet, it's still not done. It's like a period of rest. For me it's a pain in the ass. I find my self having to give messages and be patient with things I would never normally deal with. But it taught me and brought me to what I do now. This person also has choices to make, and for some reason I'm constantly having to tell and nudge. The destiny for this person is greater than my ego and hurt feelings. I remind myself of this over and over. You want to talk about humbling.
Let me tell you, every time I have a dream, I want scream, "WHY ME?" The whole dynamic makes me crazy. But I was brought to this place and point, like everything else I do, I have to trust this is for a reason. They don't understand it and neither do I, but it is what it is. I want to detach myself from the outcome in this situation as well. But the one thing about this situation, I keep acquiring tools as time goes on. It's less personal. It just doesn't make me feel any less crazy.
It's like I get slices of things to show as a proof of life, so I can yell "Now get your ass back on the path!" But the flip side is I've learned how to love this person in a way that is truly unique. It's pure, I don't need their love in return, I don't need to know what's going on in their life. I just radiate love. It feels good to wake up and send love in that direction. So maybe that is part of my path. To learn to love with out possessing or wanting. I love them for the shear joy I get from sending love to them. It's allowed me to do that with all the relationships in my life. I wake up with joy and I go to sleep with the same joy.
Update: I had something's happen tonight and I realized, just because I'm open doesn't mean that I have to listen. I don't want to deal with this anymore, not like this. I should have more of a say over my space. They are my dream's, thought's, my everything. There shouldn't be a penalty for not going along like a good girl. I'm tired of feeling like I'm left to other's whim's. As much as I have learned, screw this, I don't want to be a slave or just an end to fit the means. If they don't get what they are supposed to do, I can't and won't own that. Too bad for their self-centered butt. I have other crap to do. You have something to share and offer the world, you don't want to do it, that's on you. I refuse to own that.
0 comments:
Post a Comment